Monkey What??

Monkey Pox?? Seriously?? WTAF?? Does that not sound like some scourge from a comic book? You just couldn’t make this shit up! Or maybe you could. I’m convinced that Covid was created in a lab (this belief concluded after a fair bit of research), as I believe AIDS was. And probably this affliction as well.

Ok, whatever, regardless of where these things originated, I know where they are not going to end up: in my body; therefore, I must continue my cloistered, eremitic lifestyle, ie, no bonking until these plagues die off. (HA! As if that’s going to happen, right?) Alas, my dear fervent admirers, I must remain chaste in order to preserve my health.

‘Tis not all bad news, however. I continue offering the safest sex of all: phone sex. As the saying goes, 90% of arousal happens between the ears, rather than between the legs; ergo, phone sex is quite erotic, indeed. So, if you’re bursting with desire and lust, do give me a call. xx