Ramblings of a London Courtesan

Coronavirus Update 10

Unfortunately, we are now inundated with a variant called Omicron. Yay us. So, needless to say, I’m still not seeing people in person.

The good news is that we are in the holiday season, so there is lots of socially-distanced love and good cheer to go around.

I’m taking time off during the holidays and will not be available for phone sessions until 2 January.

I wish everyone a super happy, merry Christmas with lots of fun, laughs, and loads of delicious, fattening food. And. of course, a bountiful visit from Santa Claus!

Stay safe.

Kelly 💋

P.S. If you’re not a fan of Boris Johnson, listen to this outrageously fantastic and subversive song by Punk band The Kunts. And check this out If you want to help them get to Christmas number 1.


Coronavirus Update 9

As of 14 October, 2021, I am still not seeing people in person. I’m sorry, Darling, but it’s better to be safe than sorry! Trust me, as soon as I feel it is safe to do so, I will starting seeing my beloved visitors again!

We are getting almost 40,000 new cases per day. That’s a staggering number of people. I know that death rates aren’t as high as they were, but, since July, there have averaged approximately 150 deaths per day. That is still a lot of humans. And I don’t want to be one of them. Even if Covid doesn’t kill you, it can make you extremely ill and cause serious long-term damage. I don’t want any part of any of that. So I am not yet seeing people for face-to-face sessions, I’m sorry.

Please be careful out there and keep wearing masks.


Coronavirus Update 8

I’ve had lots of enquiries regarding my return to in-person sessions. I’m sorry, but I’m still not seeing people in person. I was considering returning to work in the next few months, but now, with this new variant of the virus, that may be further delayed. I have a feeling we will be going into another hard lockdown. So I’m just taking it day-by-day. The bottom line is that I am not yet meeting with people. If you are hard-up (pun intended), please consider having a sexy phone chat with me. xx


Coronavirus Update 7

As of today, 10 March, 2021, I am still not taking in-person bookings. And I won’t be for the forseeable future. You’re still welcome to give me a bell to schedule a dirty phone chat: 07903625730

Meanwhile, as ever, stay safe!


Coronavirus Update 6 — Crazy yet?

Hello, Sexy. How are you holding up in lockdown? Crazy yet? I’m pretty damn close the edge, let me tell you. I’ve been in isolation since February 2020, with no human contact, and some days I think I will lose my mind. If you find it, let me know.

It’s all so surreal, isn’t it? You read of pandemics happening in history and you just never think it will happen today, and then BOOM!, here it is.

As a man, I know it’s hard for you to manage unfulfilled sexual urges. The primitive beast in you must be raging! I should buy stock in lotion and tissues ๐Ÿ˜‰

For those of you who enjoy the mummy and son dynamic, I’m sure you need nothing more right now than some good, old fashioned, maternal love and nurturing. I suppose all you can do right now is indulge in dreams of nuzzling into Mummy’s bosom while I gently and lovingly rub your throbbing manhood. Mmm, that sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

Keep your dreams alive, dear boy, as we hope for a quick ending to this nightmare.

Hopefully, this will help cheer you up a bit. This is one of my favourite singers and one of my favourite songs. Patsy has helped me through some hard times. Maybe she will help you, too. Sending you virtual hugs and kisses xxx.